Good or Bad News?


I confess; the reason for my lengthy absence on this blog is that I have not wanted to write the words. The words I have been thinking, and the words I have been feeling…. but not writing. Because I am all too aware that once these thoughts and feelings manifest as words, well… it’s an explicit confirmation of what they mean.But alas, It is time to write it.

It’s the end.

The end of this particular beginning to end only at beginnings: I have come to the decision to discontinue May and this particular story…(for now).  But… just as it takes a smoker several attempts to quit successfully (so I have heard), I too, am to make several attempts to quit my own dirty habit of quitting stories prematurely.

And that’s just the thing: prematurely. I am quitting, yes. But not prematurely… I genuinely tried to make it work. I have spent months researching, thinking, writing, plotting… And I just don’t like it. I am not saying that it won’t work some day… but for now I feel that the necessary step to take is to lock this story in the metaphorical bottom drawer. I think it is important as a writer to know when some particular stories just aren’t working rather than to force yourself on to them… do you? Of course writing a story won’t  be easy: but how do you distinguish between courageously working through a rough patch or working stupidly on a patch that will never come to be?

I do believe my situation to be very much the latter.
And so as much as I dreaded writing and admitting yet again that I am giving up a story (for now)… I suppose I can plead authenticity of the writing journey rather than accuse myself of just giving up. Because failure is all part of success.

AND SO I will begin my new beginning at ending at beginnings: This story I have in my head right now is much more formulated idea than the last one. Which brings me to the next conclusion that I have come to: Forgetting about the idea when it comes to writing is a great idea when you want to practice writing, but when you actually want to pump out a novel, having the seeds of the idea planted in your head is necessary. They might’n have to be fully grown, but as long as the seed is there; then I believe the words can water it to blossom and bloom….

I’ll update on my latest story idea in the next post! [Which should be a lot sooner now that I am not avoiding writing it]

It feels good to be back🙂

Full of Parentheses (and I Don’t Know Why)


Sorry for the break! I know it’s not Christmas anymore but … I had been living in Germany as an exchange student and February was my last month there! So I had to drink in as much as Europe as I could! Suffice to say that I did! Literary note: I was in Prague and hadn’t even read any of Franz Kafka (famous author who was born there) so I quickly ducked into a book store and bought “Metamorphosis and other Stories” and I do recommend it as an interesting (and morbidly humorous) read! It was especially good as travelling involves so, so much train/bus/tram-tram-tramming so having something to read is always great, so long as you don’t get lost because of not paying attention. It only happened to me a couple of times, when my travelling companion was sleeping. Is it okay to blame her? yeah.

Anyway, I’m back in good ol Australia now (didn’t quite seem real until I landed and was greeted by the stifling heat and red dirt) and, despite the usual demands of a hectic university life (one which I still prefer over that of full time employment), I am free to continue my story once again (how much use of parenthesis is acceptable in one paragraph?). I’m actually taking a writing course as an elective this semester and the first lecture was already quite inspiring so I will keep updates on any extra tips I get from that!

Anyway, It’s always a struggle to continue when you have left something for such a long time. My characters are mad at me and I have to regain their trust… Plus, I am getting kind of bored at where the story is going. It’s so frustrating because I started this blog with the intent to not give up and start again with a different idea (because starting again and not finishing is practically what I do for a living). So that’s why I keep going, and that’s why I can’t not keep going. Even if by the end I have 30,000 words that together dribble a piece of crap that no one but my own mother wants to read (wants? i’m sorry, I mean out of pity for her struggling daughter, or so that she can be on my good side when she tells me not to quit my day job) I will still be happy that I have finished something.


This blog isn’t intended as an outlet to complain on how I can’t write my book (I have a journal for that, which I use, ardently), but it IS meant to follow my process and that does include the struggles that come with writing a book. So my lesson for this post is; to not give up. I’m not going to give up and I am going to remain positive. I can see the negativity pouring out of the computer screen when I read my above stated words…..

My (realistic) goal for the next week is to do some research for the story. Research is something that is thus far lacking… I’m going to get back into it!🙂

Research what, you ask?

Goodnight, I reply.

(it is almost midnight, I’ll answer that in my next post;))

It’s time…


…. for a plan. An outline. A sense of direction. A sequence of attack. Another synonym.

It’s time.


Slowly, but at least surely. Today’s realisation, is a pleasing one. I am confident that I have been successfully quashing the “procrastiwriter” in me because (hurrah) I have been finding the time to write more or less every day. And it might only be for a half an hour, but, I’ll take it. It’s a definite improvement on my past writing habits. My bed is, currently unmade, but nobody is dying because of it (to my knowledge). My laundry is also waiting, calling me with the stench (just kidding), but, let it wait.. Teas? I have one. Cakes? I don’t need one (well, that’s what i’m telling myself) and, AND, I haven’t read the entertainment news in months.

I can happily report that my writing habits are slowly morphing into more prosperous ones!!!  So this is what brings me to my call for a plan. I know my motto at the beginning of this blog was: can’t write? don’t think about planning and just get the words down. But now I feel I have changed to: can write, but feel like writing is just going around in circles. So this is what brings me to my call for a plan. I can write, but i feel like writing is going around in circles. So plan, it’s what brings me to my need for a plan. otherwise my writing is in circles.

here’s a picture of a bunny:


okay i’ll stop, if you’ve even bothered to continue reading I think you get my point.

But where do people get these brilliant ideas? Are they just floating in the air around us? Do I need to be taller to get one into my head?? No. I am tall enough. I already have the ideas in my head, but i just need to open up my eyes and give them a chance to actualize. Referring once again to the book by Stephen King; The world is a story and it is waiting for us to ask the “what if”. Last night, I saw a man walking into his little home, where he was greeted at the door by his lovely looking wife with a baby in her arms. What if, this man isn’t the average, 9-5 working husband.. What if….. (and here’s where something interesting comes into play, forgive my terrible examples)… he’s a alien. What if he’s a murderer. What if he has spent the day hunting a terrible beast that has been stalking the woods and terrorizing the people of the village for months. What if he’s a woman…

But you get my point. I’m not going to put pressure on finding an idea, which seemed to be my problem in my earlier writing attempts, but I am going to keep my creative mind open to the “what if’s”.

Mr Lloyd has only just died, and he left his writing behind. What if Mr Lloyd wasn’t just a man? What if he was an alien. Or a murderer. Or … a woman.

although i don’t think he being a woman would have much impetus for the story line.

But, what if he was a sorcerer ? What if the book he left behind was somehow magical? What if it held the key to unlock a completely different world, but somehow a more different one that books normally unlock to their readers….  What if he had been waiting to give it to May because only she has the power to do so?

I dunno.

It’s just time…

…to have some direction….

So that’s what my focus is going to be on this week…

Mr Lloyd is dead.


Yes, I killed a character before even knowing his first name (a realisation that has only just occurred to me). But, as I mentioned in my older post, which, another realisation – was over a month ago, it was my plan that he serve some significance in the story and his untimely death is perfect. I guess it’s not actually untimely, he was a very, very old man, but i mean with regards to the story. I am only (WORDCOUNT) at 3300. Very slow, I know, but ho ho ho, it was Christmas. Told you I’d slip that excuse in..

But yes, an early death in the story. BUT, Mr Lloyd was writing something, which is left behind when the paramedics cart his decrepit body from the tiny bookstore. And what he was writing links mysteriously to Ms Martin… and the events to come… something, something, something (more thinking, walking, wine drinking, procrastinating, sleeping, thinking, maybe writing needed)…

On a whole, I have, with the New Year, a whole New perspective on this story! I said that I was not liking my main character, but I think she is growing on me. I hope this means that she grows on the reader, too. I guess my job has kind of run more NOW into how much back story I add in… I read a very interesting article about what basic traits SHOULD make up your characters:

I am yet to decide…

Next post should have more details, PLUS hopefully, something to do with the writing that Mr Lloyd left behind and how it links to May.

Maybe by my 50th Birthday


… I will be finished this book.

That might not be bad if I was 49 and my birthday was in December.

My birthday IS in December

But I am 22.


Firstly, A little blabbering:

Writing; it’s not the words. It’s the feeling.

I just read something that I found particularly beautiful. I wasn’t blown away by the language or vocabulary. I suppose I was blown away by how they were put together, their end result. The words, simple on their own, created a something much more complex. I could feel the atmosphere as I read; I could smell the smells and I could hear the noises. Most of all, I could recall an exact incident in my own memory that the writer was so aptly describing, realising simultaneously the simple but beautiful characteristics that we all share as human beings. I could laugh with this realisation. I could feel sweet sorrow in nostalgia.  

The work was a short story written by Australian author Kate Morton, ‘We Were from the Mountains’

I guess one of the reasons I really can relate to this piece of writing was that it is set close to home, but it is in no way the only reason. 

Anyway, it inspired me, figuring out a bit more about what I find makes for great writing, so that brings me to….

How is my own story going? 


I’m not really sure. I don’t really care too much that my word count barely moved an inch; It’s not that I haven’t been writing, it’s just that what I have been writing hasn’t been so much that of this story. I have been writing little short splurts of nothingness to my hearts content. Is this another form of procrastination? I don’t care. It’s fun, and, I can’t feel guilty because we all know the saying, ‘practice makes perfect’, right? yeah, yeah, I know. Nobody’s perfect so why practice, the cheeky (read annoying) inner child says. But you get my gist. Everything I write is a way of strengthening the skill and experimenting with new styles etc

But I suppose there is another reason for my stagnation. My relationship with my main character. I don’t think I really like her right now. This might seem absurd, because, why wouldn’t I be able to change her into someone that I do like? But I guess it’s not that simple. Somehow, the way she is in my mind somehow serves as impetus behind the story line. She owns her bookshop, she is unwavering in routine. She is careful, submissive and particular. Her only friends are her books. 

Why is this interesting? It’s not.

I need to answer some questions, with these answers I will be able to build and change the character of May, hopefully make things more interesting and thus; my motivation to continue the story!

There is an old man who comes to her bookshop everyday;

What seems rather odd to us, I suppose, is that there was actually somebody who depended on this unyielding regime of Ms May Martin; one Mr Lloyd; about as ready as they come to leave the world but holding on anyway; both hands gripping as tightly to life as they did to his wobbly walker. Mr Lloyd on average wheezed about two words to Ms Martin a day; but, undoubtedly not being much of a conversationalist herself, this didn’t bother her in the slightest. From the few words that had actually been thrown between them, she had been able to gather a small pocket of information about the old man. 

Who is this man, and what is his role in the story? How important is he to the overall plot? Is he a bad guy or is he a good guy? Or is he merely a tool I have used to authenticate the story with a visitor to the bookshop? 

I think the next step will be to work this out. Once I have worked out the importance of him, I will know where I have to go to next. 

By the next post, I will have the significance of Mr Lloyd well known. 

(and I will try and have my next post delivered in a bit speedier fashion than what I have been currently adhering to)

And if not, sorry in advance for the use of the “It’s Christmas” excuse. 

Which I will no doubt be using for the following:

-kilograms gained, assignments left for later, the forgotten fitness routine..




Word Count: 2105

Yes, I know what you’re thinking. I know what I’m thinking. No post in… more than 2 weeks (does that sound better than almost 3 weeks? no matter, I’ve said both now anyway) and only… about 60 more words (that sounds better than about 50 words, but it is in actuality closer to 60 words, after all. Anyway, not important, both are a pretty meager advancement…) to my story. Have I already hit that barrier where it feels as if I can’t go any further? The idea is laughable. No, I only started this about a month ago. And yet, and yet… what are my excuses? 

TOP THINGS I DO INSTEAD OF WRITING (and hopefully, how to combat them)

  1. I get lost in the internet. And this isn’t always a good lost; reading other blogs, for instance, but this is a type of lost where I end up so off-topic I wonder how I ever came to be reading what I am reading. My mouse seems to lead me through a dark maze of pointless information until I am halfway through an article about how many times a certain celebrity has undergone plastic surgery and I realise I am actually reading a stupid article about how many times a certain celebrity has undergone plastic surgery.  So I stop (after finishing the article).

  2. I make coffees. Or teas. Because once I have my coffee or once I have my tea I can nestle in beside my computer with my blankets and my hot coffee or tea and get stuck into writing. But only then do I remember just how particularly well coffee goes a piece of cake or a cookie. Ditto tea. And so, I have to get myself something of the sorts. And if I don’t have any? Well, I can bake..

    2.5 … I make my bed.

  3. Or I realise I can’t be settled properly with a clear mind until my laundry is done. But I did my laundry yesterday. Oh but there’s always laundry. Etc
  4. I guess, to a certain extent, this blog. It’s a bit of a paradox, I suppose. I am writing it to help me with my writing but in writing it I don’t do my other writing because I’m writing here and not there.
  5. I complain about not writing by writing in my journal. (??)
  6. I end up feeling guilty about my Uni work, thinking that if I finish it I can be properly focused on writing. Wrong. To finish Uni work is a myth. There’s never an end.

The thing is, I may seem crazy. But I feel that this sort of procrastination is a common thing for many writers. It also depends a lot upon what else is going on in our lives, and how we manage a daily life/writing balance. To think that we are ever going to be free from any other responsibilities and the only thing we have to do is writing, is wrong. We will always have to eat. We will always have to eat cake.

And there will always be university assignments/regular work/laundry, etc. So how do we fit this in around writing? How do we ignore some things and put writing first, without feeling guilty?

I have read some blogs that dedicate a time explicitly for writing every day. I have heard this is good – but then I have also heard this is bad. Forcing yourself to write may make you hate what you used to love. But then, being too indifferent about a writing time, it becomes quite easy to put the “demands” of live above our passion. Stephen King says that he writes at least 10 pages a day; whether this takes a few hours before lunch in the morning or the entire day behind the computer. I mean, bestselling author people, something has obviously worked for him there.

But, of course, we all know that everyone is individual in what works for them. What is important, however, is that we learn how to balance writing time with everything else in our lives. When this not having time to write becomes a problem is when you begin to make up things that get in the way of writing for some reason or another. Like Cake. Or Laundry. 

Check out this link; I found it very helpful and very specific to my problem. (All beginnings and nothing but beginnings… )

For those who don’t suffer once and a while as a ‘procrastiwriter’, I think that’s great; you have obviously no troubles with worrying that your writing isn’t good enough or that you will always have something to write about.

It doesn’t mean I don’t like writing, or I can’t write. It means I have something to work through, so that I can get to writing freely and without self doubt. And this is what this blog and writing this book of mine can conquer. That, I suppose, is my quest. To conquer the procrastiwriter in me!

But I wanted to ask, do you sometimes feel similar?  Any ideas on how to best combat this problem? And how do you manage your writing time?


The Actual Start. And May.


Word Count: 2094

And so begins the introduction! I have gotten off to a strong start, but this doesn’t yet give me too much confidence (I have written a lot of starts, as you probably already know, it’s my tendency to take them no further which is the problem).

As far as my writing goes now: I have started with an interesting ‘hook’ as I fish for readers… It is interesting, and it makes the reader want to keep reading (of course, that is the point, after all) but it also makes me want to keep reading and find out what happens, because I don’t even know. And I’m the author… but, I’m following the ‘forget about the idea’ idea, so I’m sure it will come to me later…. in a dream…

Or on a loooong walk…

Or after a few wines…

Just kidding, I don’t condone wine to help with writing. I just condone it every other time.

Anyway! I think it will come to me with help from my characters, of course😉 not wine.

But when thinking about characters, how much does one reveal? How much back story does one reveal?? What is important? What’s not?


I can’t remember when I found this, exactly, but it was on one of my (many) internet scours for inspiration, and is an attempt to help you write a book in 30 days. I’m yet to decide if it is helpful; but here it is if you wanted to check it out:

I think you have to sign up to be a member of The Guardian… but that just means you get emails every so often about news etc… up to you.

The worksheets give some ideas about how to formulate your characters and give them depth. However, it does have “style of dress” under the list of physical descriptions… I agree with Stephen King on this one, it really isn’t necessary at most times to intricately describe your character’s taste in clothing. Unless, I believe, it has something important to do with the storyline… Blood splattered shorts, for instance.

Moving on.

I guess I’ll give you a short blurb about one character in my book so far, one I have decided I will probably make the protagonist.

Ms May Martin, a young woman of twenty-five, would best be described as quiet, diligent, and one who thrives in routine. She had dark blonde hair which she habitually pulled back neatly and secured with a grey barrette, ensuring not a strand wound up astray throughout the practiced routine of whichever day. So meticulous in detail and not one to complete anything with less than more effort required as she was, I, for one, had never seen a strand astray, not in the fifteen or so years I have been acquainted with Ms May. But anyway, I must move on, perhaps readdress this perplexing feat at a further time… Matching this grey barrette were her grey spectacles, which rested on her button nose, magnifying with caricature-like proportions two very round, very brown eyes. Her small lips were almost always pursed together; as often she would be in deep contemplation over one matter or another and this was the expression that routinely paired. She expressed herself more than quite adequately through her quietness, however, and what some might call a hindrance worked quite well in her favour, the rarity of her spoken word often afforded her the upper hand in any given discussion or argument, as when she finally chose to give voice to her thoughts, they were often most articulated and almost forced the other to agree with them as they sounded so delicately worded and precise to their own ears

Please remember this is only the first draft and I have definitely more work to fix it, I tend to be too wordy sometimes at first, and sometimes my sentences are too long… it only makes sense to me… but I wanted to just give it to you like it is, as of right now. Because writing is not about being perfect the first time around! (That’s such an important key to writing, not getting discouraged when it may sound crappy the first time. Just keep going!)

Anyway, May is obviously not one for spontaneity, she is probably a pretty boring sort BUT interesting in the way that she doesn’t even notice this… She owns a bookshop and is absorbed in the world she has created for herself among her books.

And here’s where I guess I can make the twist: obviously, she is going to have to change; the readers are going to come to like her very much, despite her rigidity.

Something has to happen…