I confess; the reason for my lengthy absence on this blog is that I have not wanted to write the words. The words I have been thinking, and the words I have been feeling…. but not writing. Because I am all too aware that once these thoughts and feelings manifest as words, well… it’s an explicit confirmation of what they mean.But alas, It is time to write it.
It’s the end.
The end of this particular beginning to end only at beginnings: I have come to the decision to discontinue May and this particular story…(for now). But… just as it takes a smoker several attempts to quit successfully (so I have heard), I too, am to make several attempts to quit my own dirty habit of quitting stories prematurely.
And that’s just the thing: prematurely. I am quitting, yes. But not prematurely… I genuinely tried to make it work. I have spent months researching, thinking, writing, plotting… And I just don’t like it. I am not saying that it won’t work some day… but for now I feel that the necessary step to take is to lock this story in the metaphorical bottom drawer. I think it is important as a writer to know when some particular stories just aren’t working rather than to force yourself on to them… do you? Of course writing a story won’t be easy: but how do you distinguish between courageously working through a rough patch or working stupidly on a patch that will never come to be?
I do believe my situation to be very much the latter.
And so as much as I dreaded writing and admitting yet again that I am giving up a story (for now)… I suppose I can plead authenticity of the writing journey rather than accuse myself of just giving up. Because failure is all part of success.
AND SO I will begin my new beginning at ending at beginnings: This story I have in my head right now is much more formulated idea than the last one. Which brings me to the next conclusion that I have come to: Forgetting about the idea when it comes to writing is a great idea when you want to practice writing, but when you actually want to pump out a novel, having the seeds of the idea planted in your head is necessary. They might’n have to be fully grown, but as long as the seed is there; then I believe the words can water it to blossom and bloom….
I’ll update on my latest story idea in the next post! [Which should be a lot sooner now that I am not avoiding writing it]
It feels good to be back 🙂